Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Church Involvement
My First Bible
Salvation
Seminary and the Gulf War
Monday, August 31, 2009
Abigail's Birth
Our second child, Abigail, was born when we were in
For years I had wanted to have a family with lots of children: somewhere between six and twelve - and then, I had a child. I never imagined how much work one little child could be. So, we decided that Abigail would be our last child. This being our second child, I was more interested in the operation than the miracle of birth. So, after Abigail was pulled out of the womb, I became fascinated with the procedure that would keep Deanna from getting pregnant again.
The doctor was pointing out things about my wife’s anatomy and explaining what he was doing when a nurse came and asked me if I could come out with her to the other room. I was thinking that this had something to do with my role as a chaplain in the hospital. When I walked into the room they started talking to me about Abigail. It was not really sinking in with me that there was a problem until the neonatal specialist walked in and was only there a couple of seconds when she said something and the next thing I know, they are running down the hall with my new baby girl and I am chasing them.
When they got into the neonatal unit, they asked me to go to the other room but I wouldn’t go.After all, I was a chaplain in the hospital and was used to being present for all sorts of emergencies. They threatened to have security remove me when my boss showed up and took me by the arm into the waiting room. He explained that my presence would make the doctors nervous and I would want them to be at their best while they were caring for my child. They were in the process of intubation. Intubation is “a process where they put a tube through the vocal cords and into the windpipe of a patient in order to provide a patient’s lungs with oxygen.”
So, I did what fathers and parents all over the world do: I waited in the waiting room praying and waiting. Although I was praying, it was much later that day before I called to ask others to pray. Things were happening too fast for me to process and I was still in too much shock to grasp the significance of all that was going on.
Abigail was born with Hyland Membrane disease. Disease is really a misnomer here. Condition would be a better why to explain what my little girl had. It is where a full term baby is born with immature lungs. The treatment for Hyland Membrane disease had only been out for a few years when Abigail was born. In fact, before this treatment almost all children born with this condition died. As if this wasn’t enough, she also had pneumonia and a hole in her heart. Of course, it took a while to discover all this stuff so the first three weeks of her life were spent in the neonatal unit.
Deanna was in recovery and would not discover what was going on for quite a while. I was so wrapped up with Abigail that I did not go to see Deanna and fill her in. When I did go by to see her they had her so drugged up that she really was not with it. It was a the next day before Deanna was able to even see the baby.
They wouldn’t let us touch Abigail because we were over stimulating her with our touch and she was fighting the medicine. Abigail was 9 lbs 4 oz. when born and was quite the fighter. They needed her to be still and sleeping to give her body time to recover, so they put her in a drug-induced coma. They could not tell us what the long term effects of this would be or what the affect of being intubated for so long would be. It was a hard time for us. They didn’t know what to do with us because we always wanted to be there with our baby. We also wanted them to explain everything that they were doing and at least one of the nurses did not want to explain stuff to us. We were not going to be dissuaded from knowing everything we could learn. I guess we were not the norm in this neonatal unit. Many of the patients in here had parents who were actually from
Thirteen years later you wouldn’t know that my daughter ever was on the brink of death moments after coming into this world. She is a beautiful, talented, strong, healthy, vibrant, young woman. I am so proud to call her my daughter.
Timing is an amazing thing. If Abigail had been born in a hospital that did not have a neonatal unit or one with a less efficient staff, she would at best have brain damage from lack of oxygen but probably would not have lived. But God in his infinite wisdom decided that this miracle child would live. This bright intelligent child - I cannot help but think that God has very big plans for her and her life.
“I know my plans for you, says the Lord . . .
Monday, June 8, 2009
Under the Piano
My mother is such a good pianist. She can play anything and she can do it so amazingly well. I’ve always been proud to be her son for so many reasons and one of these many reasons is her mastery of the piano. If fact, some of my fondest memories are under the piano. It was under the piano that I first heard Beethoven, Mozart, Handel, Chopin, and Bach.
Probably the most moving of these experiences was the hymns. I don’t know if it was my connection or my mom’s connection with God. Maybe it was both of these. You see music truly is the language of the soul and when you put words with the music it adds a new dimension to what the music means to you. How can you not be moved by words like, “just as I am without one plea but that Thy blood was shed for me . . . ?” The God of the universe loved a sorry messed up person like me so much that He gave His only precious Son so that He could have me safe with Him and He takes me just as I am. I don’t have to change before He will take me. Once I surrender to Him, He will change me from the inside out - just like He fashioned me in my mother’s womb so He fashions me from inside my heart to make me more like Him.
Some memories are stronger than others but few are as sweet as those I found under the piano. So, when times get hard mom and her piano make for wonderful encouragement.
“Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose.”
-Philippians 2:1 & 2
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Moving to Harlingen
Graduation from seminary in the spring of 1995 was a welcome relief from what Deanna and I called the valley of the shadow of death. The seminary years were hard years. The whole culture of
One of my professors suggested that I do a year of CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education). He thought it would help me get a grip on who I was and find my niche in ministry. He had a friend in
It is not the easiest program to get into, but they called me for an interview and I traveled down to
The interview went well and I was accepted into the program and hired as a full time chaplain at the hospital. We looked around at places to live but the only places that we could afford were dumps. We kept hanging on to the promise that He would provide. So we prayed but we did not know what we would do.
Dad had asked me to check in with his old friend Dr. Rivera at the Valley Baptist Academy but I was anxious to get back up to Waco where we had left my one year old son, Kenneth, with my sister Audrey. I didn’t like being away from my son. So, we had decided that we would just take off and head back to
Dad seemed kinda forceful here, so off we went to see his friend. It turned out that he had an unexpected opening in the girl’s dorm director position just the day before we got there and school was starting in two weeks. Doctor Rivera was asking Deanna all these questions and both of us thought it was kinda strange until we figured out he was actually trying to see if she would be interested in the job.
So on the same day that I was hired as a chaplain for the
Our life was so blessed while living in
I overcame my depression and learned coping mechanisms for dealing with difficult situations. And right before we moved away my daughter was born. Her birth and the trauma that went with it are another story that I will share soon but for now I will say that in the dreaded state of
I praise God for his provisions for us. God knows the plans He has for us and they are plans for welfare and not calamity plans to give us a future and a hope. –Jeremiah 29:11 I am so glad that He does and He did. J