Church Involvement

I like to tell people that I was a Southern Baptist before I was born and than I became a Christian later.  It is true that I heard the gospel many times before I was even born and I grow up hearing it at home and at church.  Since my father was a minister church was a regular part of my life and still is today.

There are many preachers in my family both from my father’s side and my mother’s side of the family.  All of my siblings have felt a call into ministry.  My sister leads music in church and speaks at conferences.  My little brother is an ordained minister like myself and he is in seminary in Denver.  My older brother felt God call him into ministry when he was young.  I’ve often thought he would make a better pastor than me.  He is very gifted and I am sure that God is not finished with him yet.

My First Bible

The first bible I remember getting was a Christmas gift from my mom and dad in 1977.  It was a red leather, New American Standard Study Bible.  I still have it today although it is not in very good shape.  It was used by God to bring me a long way in my faith.

I do write in my bibles sometimes.  I will underline a verse that means a lot to me or make a note about some insight to the word that I do not want to forget.  Often I stick little post it notes in my bible with thoughts or notes for preaching.  I have many bibles and I often give them away to other.

One of my favorite bibles is one that was carried by a missionary to Africa who was later a pastor in New Mexico.  His granddaughter gave it to me before she died of old age.  She called it the Missionary Bible.  Sometimes I like to hold it and think of the places that it has gone to and all the people who have heard the truth of God by hearing it read.

Salvation

Someone asked me once if I had a good salvation testimony.  I was a little taken aback by this question.  Aren’t all salvation stories good?  People have a misconception about what a testimony is about.  My salvation testimony is not about Alvin Kerry Chadwick.  It is about the One who saved Alvin Kerry Chadwick.  It is also about the incredible faith of my parents.  Many people are old when they realize their need for a savior and turn their lives over to Jesus Christ.  That didn’t happen to me.  At the very young age of five years old I came to see my need for Jesus.  At a tent revival that my father was leading in Picacho Hills, New Mexico, I walked down the dirt aisle and took my father by the hand and prayed to receive Jesus as my Lord and Savior.

It was easy to see my need for Jesus because I had heard my parents talk about it all the time.  But a life in Jesus was not just something that my parents talked about but it was something that they modeled.

As a child my faith was very simple as I have grown in age and faith I have learned more about the depth of God’s love and more about what it all means.  However, no matter how much I learn, I am amazed at the simplicity of salvation that a five year old can accept Jesus Christ.  Oh, what an incredible testimony that God would love the world so much that He would send His only Son to come and save people from their sins.  Oh, that more parent would model the love of Christ in their lives.  Oh, that all people would accept Jesus Christ as their savior at a young age and give their lives to Him.  Life would be so much better if they would.

Seminary and the Gulf War

Deanna and I were married in May of 1990.  Shortly after this we moved to Fort Worth, Texas to attend seminary.  These were difficult times for Deanna and me.  It started out hard from the get go.  After just a few weeks of school I was failing in all of my classes.  I had never been a great student but seminary was so hard.  What I could not understand was why God called me to seminary if I was just going to fail.

I remember one day in particular.  I had a professor who was amazing to listen to.  As Dr. Spivey would speak about church history I would sit enthralled at the way that God had worked through the church in times past.  In fact I could have set and listened to him all day for days he was that interesting.  However, this was the class that I was doing the worst in.  I really saw no hope for me in this class.  I went and spoke with Dr. Spivey.  He didn’t seem very concerned or interested in my problems with his class.

After one test I went home and cried for hours to God asking him why he would bring me to this place to fail.  I asked God for a sign – something that would let me know that he really wanted me to stay in seminary.  I’d decided that if I didn’t get a definite sign from God that I would drop out.

The next day in class Dr. Spivey got up and said that he was a chaplain in the Army Reserves and that he had received order to go to Sadi Arabia for Desert Shield.  He told us that his teaching assistant and grader Karen Bullock would be our instructor for the rest of the semester.  He then left the room.

When he left Mrs. Bullock got up and explained how she would conduct the class.  I remember her saying that since she graded differently than Dr. Spivey that our grades up to that point would be thrown out and that we would be graded on what we did for her for the rest of the semester.  A cheer went up in the class and I realized that I was not the only student that was struggling.  It was a great encouragement and I started to wonder if the conflict in the gulf had been started so God could give me a sign about staying in school.  I realize that God uses all things for His good purposes. 

Rom 8:28  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Col 1:16-17  For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him.  (17)  He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.

However, I continued to do poorly in school and so I went to see Mrs. Bullock, now Dr. Karen Bullock.  She listened very carefully to me and asked me many questions about my calling and experiences with school.  God used her to change my life.  No one had ever told me that I was a visual learner.  However, Mrs. Bullock was able to discern this as well as other things about my learning practices.  She gave me advice that helped me make it through seminary.  She pointed out to me that I didn’t test well and that I would do better if I took classes that weighed heaver on papers than tests.  By talking to other students and professors I was able to find out which professor graded more heavily on papers and take their classes.  The next semester I received my first “A” in seminary, in Dr. Putt’s philosophy of religion class.  In this class we typed one paper a week and did two major papers at midterm and at the end of the semester but no tests.  (Years later I would learn that I have A.D.D.  I have learned many coping skills but still struggle with this condition today.)

I will never forget how this woman cared about each of her students and how she mentored me.  Many of the things that I have been able to do in minister are due in large part to her taking time for a young seminary student and helping him find a way.  I am forever grateful for the Gulf War and Karen Bullock.

Abigail's Birth

Our second child, Abigail, was born when we were in Harlingen, Texas. I was a Chaplain resident in Clinical Pastoral Education while concurrently serving as a chaplain at ValleyBaptistMedicalCenter. The pregnancy was normal and well going into the delivery. We planned the delivery date because Deanna had to have a C-section.

For years I had wanted to have a family with lots of children: somewhere between six and twelve - and then, I had a child. I never imagined how much work one little child could be. So, we decided that Abigail would be our last child. This being our second child, I was more interested in the operation than the miracle of birth. So, after Abigail was pulled out of the womb, I became fascinated with the procedure that would keep Deanna from getting pregnant again.

The doctor was pointing out things about my wife’s anatomy and explaining what he was doing when a nurse came and asked me if I could come out with her to the other room. I was thinking that this had something to do with my role as a chaplain in the hospital. When I walked into the room they started talking to me about Abigail. It was not really sinking in with me that there was a problem until the neonatal specialist walked in and was only there a couple of seconds when she said something and the next thing I know, they are running down the hall with my new baby girl and I am chasing them.

When they got into the neonatal unit, they asked me to go to the other room but I wouldn’t go.After all, I was a chaplain in the hospital and was used to being present for all sorts of emergencies. They threatened to have security remove me when my boss showed up and took me by the arm into the waiting room. He explained that my presence would make the doctors nervous and I would want them to be at their best while they were caring for my child. They were in the process of intubation. Intubation is “a process where they put a tube through the vocal cords and into the windpipe of a patient in order to provide a patient’s lungs with oxygen.”

So, I did what fathers and parents all over the world do: I waited in the waiting room praying and waiting. Although I was praying, it was much later that day before I called to ask others to pray. Things were happening too fast for me to process and I was still in too much shock to grasp the significance of all that was going on.

Abigail was born with Hyland Membrane disease. Disease is really a misnomer here. Condition would be a better why to explain what my little girl had. It is where a full term baby is born with immature lungs. The treatment for Hyland Membrane disease had only been out for a few years when Abigail was born. In fact, before this treatment almost all children born with this condition died. As if this wasn’t enough, she also had pneumonia and a hole in her heart. Of course, it took a while to discover all this stuff so the first three weeks of her life were spent in the neonatal unit.

Deanna was in recovery and would not discover what was going on for quite a while. I was so wrapped up with Abigail that I did not go to see Deanna and fill her in. When I did go by to see her they had her so drugged up that she really was not with it. It was a the next day before Deanna was able to even see the baby.

They wouldn’t let us touch Abigail because we were over stimulating her with our touch and she was fighting the medicine. Abigail was 9 lbs 4 oz. when born and was quite the fighter. They needed her to be still and sleeping to give her body time to recover, so they put her in a drug-induced coma. They could not tell us what the long term effects of this would be or what the affect of being intubated for so long would be. It was a hard time for us. They didn’t know what to do with us because we always wanted to be there with our baby. We also wanted them to explain everything that they were doing and at least one of the nurses did not want to explain stuff to us. We were not going to be dissuaded from knowing everything we could learn. I guess we were not the norm in this neonatal unit. Many of the patients in here had parents who were actually from Mexico, so they couldn’t stay in the States with their baby, or some of the babies were born addicted to drugs and had parents who didn’t want to be there for them. However, we are so thankful to God for the amazing doctors and nurses of the Valley Baptist Medical Center!If it had not been for their quick, proficient diagnosis and professional care of our daughter, she would not be with us today.

Thirteen years later you wouldn’t know that my daughter ever was on the brink of death moments after coming into this world. She is a beautiful, talented, strong, healthy, vibrant, young woman. I am so proud to call her my daughter.

Timing is an amazing thing. If Abigail had been born in a hospital that did not have a neonatal unit or one with a less efficient staff, she would at best have brain damage from lack of oxygen but probably would not have lived. But God in his infinite wisdom decided that this miracle child would live. This bright intelligent child - I cannot help but think that God has very big plans for her and her life.

“I know my plans for you, says the Lord . . .

Under the Piano

My mother is such a good pianist.  She can play anything and she can do it so amazingly well.  I’ve always been proud to be her son for so many reasons and one of these many reasons is her mastery of the piano.  If fact, some of my fondest memories are under the piano.  It was under the piano that I first heard Beethoven, Mozart, Handel, Chopin, and Bach.

Probably the most moving of these experiences was the hymns.  I don’t know if it was my connection or my mom’s connection with God.  Maybe it was both of these.  You see music truly is the language of the soul and when you put words with the music it adds a new dimension to what the music means to you.  How can you not be moved by words like, “just as I am without one plea but that Thy blood was shed for me . . . ?”  The God of the universe loved a sorry messed up person like me so much that He gave His only precious Son so that He could have me safe with Him and He takes me just as I am.  I don’t have to change before He will take me.  Once I surrender to Him, He will change me from the inside out - just like He fashioned me in my mother’s womb so He fashions me from inside my heart to make me more like Him.

“Amazing grace how sweat the sound that saved a wretch like me, I once was lost but now I’m found, was blind but now I see.”  Oh how much I see since accepting God and His gift for me.  It was in my parents that I first saw the truth of God.  They are living testaments of what it means to be Christian.

One of the ways that this was manifested to me was through my mom’s dedication during the early years of her lupus.  It wasn’t just that she would continue to play in church when she did not feel like doing it but that she would do it with such emotion and love.  I knew that she was hurting but on her face shone the smile of Jesus and in her eyes was the love of God and through her hands was found the power of the Holy Spirit.

Some memories are stronger than others but few are as sweet as those I found under the piano.  So, when times get hard mom and her piano make for wonderful encouragement. 

“Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose.”

-Philippians 2:1 & 2

Moving to Harlingen

Graduation from seminary in the spring of 1995 was a welcome relief from what Deanna and I called the valley of the shadow of death.  The seminary years were hard years.  The whole culture of Texas is so different from what we knew in New Mexico.  It was a hard adjustment.  Both of us liked Fort Worth and we even liked the seminary.  It was the Christian people that we had a hard time with.  So many hard things happened in that last year of school:  losing a church job (they asked me to leave – but that is another story for another time), financial problems (another long story – one I probably will not tell), rejection from another church opportunity in Oklahoma, and deep depression.

One of my professors suggested that I do a year of CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education).  He thought it would help me get a grip on who I was and find my niche in ministry.  He had a friend in Harlingen, Texas who was a supervisor in CPE so he recommend me to his friend.

It is not the easiest program to get into, but they called me for an interview and I traveled down to Harlingen with Deanna.  Harlingen is way down at the bottom tip of Texas.  It is not the furthest south that you can travel and still be in Texas but it is close.  I was scared about what I would do if they didn’t hire me and I was scared about where we would live if they did hire me because it cost a fortune to live in Harlingen due to all the winter Texans.  Winter Texans are people who spend the winter months in south Texas and the summer months in northern states.

The interview went well and I was accepted into the program and hired as a full time chaplain at the hospital.  We looked around at places to live but the only places that we could afford were dumps.  We kept hanging on to the promise that He would provide.  So we prayed but we did not know what we would do.

Dad had asked me to check in with his old friend Dr. Rivera at the Valley Baptist Academy but I was anxious to get back up to Waco where we had left my one year old son, Kenneth, with my sister Audrey.  I didn’t like being away from my son.  So, we had decided that we would just take off and head back to Waco.  However, dad called before we left Harlingen and asked if we had gone by to see Dr. Rivera.  We said no and he told me that I really needed to go see him, that he might have a place that we could rent for not to much.

Dad seemed kinda forceful here, so off we went to see his friend.  It turned out that he had an unexpected opening in the girl’s dorm director position just the day before we got there and school was starting in two weeks.  Doctor Rivera was asking Deanna all these questions and both of us thought it was kinda strange until we figured out he was actually trying to see if she would be interested in the job.

So on the same day that I was hired as a chaplain for the Valley Baptist Medical Center, Deanna was hired as the girl’s dorm director for the Valley Baptist Academy.  This had some unexpected benefits for us.  For example,  we had to live in an apartment in the girl’s dorm so we did not have to pay utilities or rent.  We were required to eat with the girls in the school cafeteria so we didn’t have to buy groceries.  And Deanna received a $1000.00 a month.  What a deal!  Both of us grow close to the girls and we felt as if they were our own children. The girls loved our son Kenneth and everyone on campus watched out for him when he was out playing.   Even today we are in contact with many of them on Facebook and through the mail.

Our life was so blessed while living in Harlingen.  I learned so much about ministry and thoroughly enjoyed working with people in the hospital as a chaplain.  My CPE supervisor, John Teer, was one of the greatest influences of my life.  He taught me and blessed me more than I can express.  He helped me through one of the darkest times in my life and helped me to see the light again.

I overcame my depression and learned coping mechanisms for dealing with difficult situations.  And right before we moved away my daughter was born.  Her birth and the trauma that went with it are another story that I will share soon but for now I will say that in the dreaded state of Texas, God gave me two of the greatest gifts that I have ever been given:  my son Kenneth, and my daughter Abigail.

I praise God for his provisions for us.  God knows the plans He has for us and they are plans for welfare and not calamity plans to give us a future and a hope.  –Jeremiah 29:11  I am so glad that He does and He did. J

 

Finding a Good Thing

Since third grade I have wanted three things in life: to get married, have children and be a minister.  The ministry part was easy.  I started preaching when I was fifteen and have been preaching ever since.  I was ordained in January of 1988 in Las Cruces, New Mexico when I was twenty-four years old.  The having children part needed to wait on getting married but the getting married part was hard.

If I had been less picky or the girls had been more willing then I might have been married much sooner.  The truth is that I was obsessed with getting married.  It was all I thought about.

It was my parents fault really.  They had such a perfect marriage that I wanted to have the same thing.  Of course I couldn’t marry my mom so it narrowed the field a lot.  There just weren’t a lot of girls like mom.  The problem with looking for someone like mom is that I was not really like dad so it follows that I needed someone uniquely qualified for me because, like everyone else in the world, I am unique.

So I dated different girls looking for the right one.  I thought I found her several times.  I even asked three of them to marry me and one of them even said yes but it was not to be.

After what seemed like an eternity of looking I got a new roommate: Gary Boney.  Gary was several years older than me and a bachelor.  He had never been married.  Not that he was against the idea.  He had just never found the right one.  He started taking me places and doing things with me - all of the sudden I was enjoying the single life and was no longer actively looking for that one special one that would be my wife.  For the first time in my life I was really happy in my present state.

It was during this happy time that Deanna came into my life.  I saw her every where all the time.  I had no idea at the time that she had planned all this.  We had been married for years before I realized that she plans everything and that our meeting was no surprise.

At this time I was the assistant director of the Baptist Student Union.  David Englehart, the director, had given me the assignment of visiting all these girl prospects on campus.  So, I needed a girl to go with me to do the visiting.  Guess who volunteered?  You got it, Deanna.  We spent hours together visiting girls in dorm rooms and other places on campus.  She also seemed to be with me whenever I went to eat in the cafeteria.  I was working with her cousin in evangelism training and we seemed to run into her all the time.  Years later I learned that she would ask my cousin when and where we would be going.  She was a true planner.

I picked her as the girl to go with me because I didn’t think I would be interested in her.  She was shy and quiet and all the girls that I had dated had been outgoing and leaders.  When we were together, she seldom said much but the thing that won my heart was what she said to the girls that we were visiting.  She said things that showed a depth of spiritual maturity and understanding that I had not found in other girls that I had dated.  As we spent more and more time together I began to grow a respect and love for her.

We never dated.  I was not allowed to date students so we went to group things and sometimes she would go with me to Hachita where I was the pastor of a small country church.  But in time I had to admit to David that I had grown to love her and that I was going to ask her to marry me.

After meeting her family over Thanksgiving I began to plan to ask her.  We had had some discussions about marriage and what it entailed but I hadn’t asked her yet.  During the Christmas break my brother was going to get married and Deanna was going with me so that she could meet my family.  On the way we stopped at a rest area that overlooks the valley below and has a good view of the Jornada de Muerto (Journey of the Dead).

The early Spaniards traveled this way to the north and many of them lost their lives in the hot desert land.  In fact so many of them died that they called it, “Jornada de Muerto.”

When we got back in my little Mazda pickup, it would not start so I told her maybe it was the engine fuse.  (The real problem was that I had not pushed in the clutch so it wouldn’t start)  So, I got out, opened the hood, and began to look.  I asked her to get a little plastic bag out of my tool box that had my car fuses in it.  When she got it out and was bringing it to me she was thinking this jerk keeps his fuses in a ring box that he has from some other girl.

When she gave me the ziplock bag I took it and then I looked down at the valley told her:  “You know if we ever got married, sometimes it would be like that valley down there – lush and green – happy times - other times it would be like this desert - dry and difficult – hard times.  It would be a journey and it is a journey that I would like to share with you.  Will you marry me?”  Later that day I asked her dad if I could marry her.

Six month later we were married on May 19, 1990.  We have had the happy times and hard times but through it all my love and respect for Deanna has grown and I’m still amazed at her depth.

A man's greatest treasure is his wife-- she is a gift from the LORD.   (Proverbs 18:22)

 

 

Generosity

Yesterday, my son bought an X-box game for sixty-two dollars - only he doesn’t have an X-box.  When I asked him why he did this, he said that a young boy who sells papers had lost his X-box game while selling papers downtown, so he and some of the other teenagers went looking for this X-box game but could not find it.  So, he bought a new one for him.  Again, I asked him why and he said, “you should have seen this kid’s face when we couldn’t find his game.”

This is not the only example of our son’s generosity.  Once, when Kenneth was a young boy, Deanna and I were talking about our financial situation in the dining room and our son came in and said that he could help by giving us his allowance.  Another time a couple of years ago he and Abigail saved their paper route money to pay for a day at the water park in Denver.  They also paid for all of us and all of their cousin’s family to go.

Sometimes you can become rich by being generous or poor by being greedy. Generosity will be rewarded: Give a cup of water, and you will receive a cup of water in return.   (Proverbs 11:24-25)

I am amazed at the generosity of my son.  But I shouldn’t be – he is just like his Father.  No, not me - Kenneth is like his Heavenly Father – generous to a fault!

Father, help me to have a generous heart – help me to be more like my son and You.  Amen

The One Who Carried me

During my first year of college, in the spring of 1982, I went through a period of depression when I thought that it might be better to die than to go on living.  I remember walking up University Ave. to the bridge over I – 25.  For a long time I stood watching the traffic going under the bridge.

Most of my life I have struggled with looking inward and selfishly not looking outward.  This was no exception to that.  I could not understand what God wanted with me.  It was a long walk back to the Baptist Student Union.

When I got back to the BSU I sat alone in the large classroom there and began to write out my feelings on paper.  It took the shape of a kind of poem.

Sometimes in the deepest darkest valley
Where no light can be seen
And no hope can be found
When all seems lost
And nothing can be done
I find myself

At one time I saw from the Mountain top
This road that I now cannot see
I looked and I saw

But now who will show me the way
Who will take my hand and lead me

My friends don’t understand
And I to scared to try and let them know

They look at each other and say
Why doesn’t he smile

Oh if only I could tell them
If only I could bury my head in their shoulders
And cry my despair

But no – I’ll hold on,
Because I know they are tired of hearing
My complaints
And my whimpers.

And now . . . as my last smile fades slowly away . . . . . . . . . . .

What’s this?
A hand
A nail scared hand
A strong sturdy hand . . . . . .

And now
Now I can see the road again!

Yes, I guess I knew all along
That even when my closest friends
Couldn’t see my hurt and despair
That the One
The Precious
I Am
Would hold my hand


This was an amazing event in my life.  It was like a light came into that classroom and lightness filled my being.  When my focus moved from me to God I was strengthened and able to find peace of mind and soul.

When we look at the darkness around us we cannot find peace – everything is dark and empty - our way is lost and we do not see God.  But when we look at Jesus – when we look at the cross – when we see the empty tomb, then we are strengthened, encouraged, and we have direction and joy.  Jesus Christ can and does meet our needs but we have to look at Him and not ourselves to get it.

Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you
rest. All of you, take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am
gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves.
For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
-Matthew 11:28-30 HCSB

On the Other Side of the Road

Toward the end of my college days I was the pastor of Hachita Baptist Church, a small country church in the boothill of New Mexico. (1987 – 1990) The church was 120 miles from New Mexico State University in Las Cruces where I attended school. Often I would travel there on Fridays and spend Saturdays visiting people, than on Sundays I would travel back to school in the late afternoon or evenings.

One day about 4:30 pm when I was in a hurry to get back to Las Cruces to see a young lady, I noticed a car with people standing next to it on the other side of the interstate just as I was pulling onto the road. As soon as I saw these people I felt a tug in me to go help these people – I might have even heard a voice . . . But there was this young lady in Las Cruces and these people were going the other direction and surely someone going that way would stop and help them out. So began my arguments.

The further I traveled away from these people the more I felt that I should go back and help them. Yet the further away I got the more reason I had for not going back. After all, someone else would help them, so why should I? As I neared Deming, about forty miles from these people, my heart began to physically hurt me. I knew that I had to turn back. I believe that I could not have gone further away from these people even if I had tried to. I surrendered to the Holy Spirit’s leading.

When I arrived at the scene, they were still there. It was a mother and her son. It was a hot day – not unusual in the desert of Southwestern New Mexico. The mother looked dejected, parched, and devoid of emotion. I learned that the husband had started walking towards the next town in order to hire some help about an hour ago. I offered to carry them into Lordsburg and pick up her husband on the way.

As we traveled in my little Toyota pickup truck to Lordsburg, they began to tell me their story. The lady told me that they had been there all day and no one had stopped to help them even when they tried to wave someone down. The lady looked at her son and said, “see son - I told you if we just prayed that God would send someone to help us. We should have prayed this morning.”

The boy looked at his watch and than said to his mother, rather sarcastically, “mother we prayed at 4:30 - over an hour ago – when dad was still here. This has nothing to do with God. We just finally found a nice person”

I’m not sure the boy believed me when I shared my story with him but his mother was praising God, looking refreshed and excited - so was I. What a huge transformation in this mother. It reminded me of the familiar verse of scripture: “Those that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint.” -Isaiah 40:31 God is amazing!

Coming to Sitka

While I was in Campus Ministry at Western New Mexico University from 1998 to 2003 there were a lot of pastorless churches in Southwestern Baptist Association. As I preached in these churches I became concerned about the relatively short term of their pastors. So, I began to look for ways to increase the tenure of these pastors. The Intentional Interim Minister ministry caught my attention. In short, this was a ministry where a church would call a specially trained interim minister who would lead the church through a study to help deal with issues from the church’s past that might cause a pastor to struggle and to help the church find a pastor who would be a good fit for them.

I received training in this ministry and began to work as the Intentional Interim Minister at First Baptist Church of Santa Clara. I had not anticipated that God would use this time to call me back into the pastoral ministry. But He did just that and in the summer of 2003 my résumé began to be sent around to churches that were seeking a pastor.

During this time, Deanna and I began to talk about the kind of place we would like to go to and we came up with a list of what we thought this place would look like.

1. in a major metropolitan location
2. a nearby Wal-Mart
3. lots of places to eat out
4. lots of places to go and things to see
5. a church of over 200 people (at least as large as my last church – preferably larger)
6. a church that provided insurance and paid the same or more than I was making
7. connected to roads so we could drive lots of places
8. preferably in the western United States

We were soon contacted by a church in Port Angeles, Washington. It fit our criteria and we were very excited about them and the possibilities of going there. I spoke for over an hour with their pastor search committee chairman, Bill Branch and was very encouraged. A couple of weeks later I received a call from a lady in the First Baptist Church of Sitka, Alaska. She was with their pastor search committee and was wondering if I would consider coming to Sitka. I of course, told her that I would pray about it – which I did. There was nothing about Sitka that fit what we where looking for so within a week I told her that I was not interested.

This began a period with no peace for me. I had trouble sleeping at night. I could not get Sitka off my mind. My son didn’t help matters either. He would ask me questions like, “why do you not want to go to Sitka dad – it Alaska, dad!” One time he came into my office and asked his, “why don’t you want to go to Sitka,” question. There were so many answers to this question but the biggest reason was that it was isolated. So, once again I explained to my son how isolated Sitka was and that we would not be able to just take off and go to all the places that we were always taking off and going to. So my son pulls this map from behind his back and says, “look at this dad!” (he has a map of Alaska showing Sitka). He lays it on the table and says, “Look at this dad. Do you see this blue stuff? It’s water dad. All you need is a boat and you can go anywhere you want.”

During this same period of time my dad had given me a book by Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Church. The first words in the book were, “it’s not about you.” God convicted me that all the reasons that we had come up with for not wanting to go to Sitka were about us and not about what God wanted. He also said that, “this earth is not our home,’ and that we are aliens here.

Knowing something and teaching it to others is not the same thing as really believing something to the point that you live it. I found that although I had taught these principles that Rick Warren presents in his book that I was not living them out in my own life. So, we began to really pray about our decision, asking God to reveal to us what He wanted us to do and not what we wanted. We began to believe that God wanted us to be open to going anywhere.

Three months after I told the church in Sitka that I was not interested, I called and asked if they had found a pastor yet and if not, would they be willing to still consider me. At this point I still did not want to go to Sitka but I was welling to do whatever God wanted me to do even if it was something that I did not want to do.

Within a few weeks both Deanna and I were convinced that Sitka was where God wanted us to go so we began to pack up our belongings for a move. The week before Thanksgiving we went to Sitka for a visit. By this time we had no doubts that this was God’s plan for us. We had put our house on the market and we moved out over the Thanksgiving holiday. In fact we had moved out of our house before the church voted unanimously to call me as their new pastor.

We packed all our belongings into a Uhaul truck and drove from Silver City, New Mexico to Bellingham, Washington where we loaded our truck, our Uhaul, and us, onto an Alaska Marine Line ferry bound for Sitka. The ferry left Bellingham on a Friday, December 19, 2003 and arrived in Ketchikan, Alaska on Sunday morning, December 21.

In Ketchikan we changed ferrys. We arrived at 6:00 am and our next ferry was to leave at 4:00 pm in the afternoon. So, after breakfast we went to the First Baptist Church for their services. After the service the pastor, Doug Edwards and his wife Debbie took us to lunch with some of their church people. It was incredible that he bought us lunch – he was so friendly and welcoming. This was our first taste of Alaskan hospitality and we loved it.

We arrived in Sitka on Monday, evening December 22. As we drove off the ferry in the pouring rain, we see our new church members standing in the rain holding up a sign that says, “Welcome to your New Sitka Home.” At the time we thought that this was a big sacrifice for them but since we have lived here for several years, we have learned that if you want to do something you have to do it in the rain. We get over a hundred inches of rain a year here in Sitka. When we arrived at the parsonage there was a large Christmas tree with presents under it - hot stew on the stove top and pie in the oven. We felt like we had come home.

There is a wonderful peace in knowing that you are in God’s will.

In closing here are some new thoughts about our criteria:
1. in a major metropolitan location

* We live in a place where we personally know people like: the town mayor (he’s on my facebook), the chief of police, the family that owns the grocery store, our doctors wife and children . . .

2. a nearby Wal-Mart

* we get to take a ferry or airplane and travel to another town to go to Wal-Mart – on the way we see whales, porpoises, eagles, etc.

3. lots of places to eat out

* we know the owners and servers at everyplace we eat out at – they know our names and what we like and joke with us.

4. lots of places to go and things to see

* we see things everyday that most people only dream about – like over a hundred bald eagles feeding on the beach

5. a church of over 200 people (at least as large as my last church – preferably larger)

* we have room in our church for over 200 people – so our twenty regulars have lots of opportunity for growth

* Sitka is a very un-churched community of 8500

6. a church that provided insurance and paid the same or more than I was making

* Deanna’s job provides insurance that is better than we had and she now makes more money than she did in New Mexico. Since Abigail delivers the paper to the local dentist who also does orthodontia work, we are getting braces for both our children for half price.

7. connected to roads so we could drive lots of places

* We have traveled more places and seen more things than we ever did before we moved here thanks to the PFD (Alaska Permanent Fund Dividend – paid to every Alaskan resident for living here)

8. preferably in the western United States

* You cannot go any farther west than Alaska (Alaska’s Aleutian Island chain stretches further west than Hawaii

Is this what we had in mind? No, but God’s plan is always better than ours!

One last interesting tidbit:  Bill Branch the chairman of the pastor search committee that I spoke to in Port Angeles, Washington, gave my résumé to the church in Sitka.  He was their former, and longest serving pastor.

Advice about bad smells:

First - if you smell something bad, look for the cause sooner rather than later.

Second, if you are looking for a bad smell, start with yourself before you look everywhere else in the house.

My daughter asked me to help her look for some cough drops; she has been fighting a cold. So, I began to walk around the house looking for cough drops. (It might have helped had I had my glasses on).

As I was looking for cough drops, I kept smelling this bad smell and I was thinking; “when I find these cough drops I am going to have to look for what is causing this terrible smell that seems to be everywhere that I go.” This was my first mistake. I should have looked for the bad smell immediately.

Then, I hear my daughter say, “Bye dad! Have a good day!” and the door closes. So, she must have found the cough drops and left or she forgot about the cough drops that I have been so diligently looking for and left for school. So, now it is time to look for what is causing this bad smell.

I had my suspensions, because I watched my son with the dog out the kitchen window this morning. The dog was casting about the way he does when he is looking for the right spot to lay his mines, which always takes forever when you are late or in a hurry to leave. Our little dog, Buddy, does not have a dog door so we have to take him out to use his big outdoor bathroom. Kenneth was running late – the dog was taking too long so – he chased the dog around and scooped him up and carried him back inside. My suspension was that, either Kenneth got poop on his shoes from some that had not been cleaned up and carried it into the house or that Buddy had pooped in the house after not having been able to do it outside. Neither of these explanations explained why the smell was through the whole house. Did I mention that our multi-colored shag carpet is about the color of poop?

Yeah, about this time my mind kicks into gear. I look at my feet and realize that when I was looking for cough drops, I stepped into some of Buddy’s poop and I have tracked it all over the house. You can’t spot clean poop when you can’t see where all it has gone. So, the carpet will have to be steam cleaned. Ugh!

This event made me think of several spiritual truths. When you first sin, it smells and you know that something is wrong. You start looking for answers. Your sin rubs off on other parts of your life and affects all that you do. After a while if you do not recognize the sin in your life and clean it up, then you grow used to the smell and no longer recognize it as the sin that it is. You need God to clean it up and it is not good enough to ask God to clean one little spot. You need God to clean out your whole life.

Father, I pray with the Psalmist:
Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
(Psalms 139:23-24)
-Amen